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5 Diet Christmas Films (Low on sugar)

If you switch on your TV around this time of year, you’re bound to get Christmas shoved down your throat, whether you like it or not. Broadcasters across the land play any old movie or TV series special that has a vaguely Christmas theme. It’s a pretty sure bet that you’ll be able to catch ‘Miracle on 34th Street’ sometime over the next week. If you’re opposed to watching the same old repeated crap this year, then you might like this list of Christmas films.

Love Actually is the tale of ten intertwining love stories set in the frantic month before Christmas. Ok, so it’s a romantic comedy with a Christmas theme, but it’s a rather good one KICKASS.CD. With a all-star cast including Hugh Grant, Colin Firth, Liam Neeson, Alan Rickman, Bill Nighy, Keira Knightley, Martin Freeman, Emma Thompson, this is fair easier to sit through then “It’s a Wonderful Life” and it will still keep your grandma happy…

The ever depressed Charlie Brown, in an effort to understand whys he’s always down around the holidays, seeks to find the true meaning of Christmas KICKASS TORRENT. As always, Charlie goes through his normal throes of emotional torment before he’s thrown a breadcrumb of Christmas joy at the end of the film. I never quite understood the attraction of Charlie Brown cartoons, maybe I wasn’t sadistic enough to enjoy Charlie’s pain…

If you like your Christmas films crass and dirty, then this one’s for you. Willie and his sidekick, , pull off their annual heist by getting hired as Santa and his helper at a shopping mall. Billy Bob Thorton is perfect as the revolting, self-loathing, alcoholic Santa. Bad Santa is deliciously low brow and a great antidote if you are suffering from Christmas cheer overdose. Definitely not one for the kids!

Stop-motion animation musicals and Christmas go together like mistletoe and snogging (think Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer and The Year Without a Santa Claus). However Tim Burton’s dark fun-filled fantasy is far from those mind numbingly cute Christmas specials. Jack Skellingtown, hero of Halloweentown, discovers Christmastown and decides kidnap Santa and take over his role. However due to his spooky nature, Jack doesn’t quite cut it. This is a fun film for families that don’t like Christmas animations too sugary sweet.

This is rated as the 78th worst film on IMDB, however don’t let this stop you from watching this little gem. The basic plot is that Santa is kidnapped by Martians to spread goodwill and joy to the children of Mars, but really, who cares about the plot? It’s one of those films that is soooooo bad, it’s good. Let’s see; of course it has Santa, pill popping Martians wearing tight green spandex, a poorly constructed robot, an unconvincing polar bear, a pair of annoying children and the worst Christmas song ever written. You’ll be able to find this in your local department store’s bargain bin.

The third film in the series of the Griswald’s family holiday disasters. While it’s not as good as the first two it stills makes for a kickass Christmas film. Chevy Chase once again plays Clark Griswald, the overly enthusiastic father who wants his family to have the greatest Christmas ever. Of course anything and everything goes wrong. Speaking of which, what the hell happened to Chevy Chase’s career? Like this film it seemed to hit one disaster after the next too.

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